Unfaithful …


The movie “Unfaithful” with Richard Gere and Diane Lane opened a lot of eyes to the truth and reality of infidelity in our modern day society. From the very beginning of time, it seems men and women just found it hard to keep their apples in one basket. In my conversations with a few members of the opposite sex, the explanations vary far and wide. Some of them are:

  1. The need for men to “divide and conquer” … i.e., the need to feel that they can pursue and get any female
  2. God did not intend for man to have one partner … (this one really got me!)
  3. Man can’t eat chicken every day. There needs to be variety in life
  4. Not getting everything that is needed out of their current relationship
  5. Damn greedy … can’t be satisfied
  6. Material gain
  7. Nothing better to do than play the field

I am sure I could continue this list but will not bore you with the semantics of it all.

Perhaps because I have never been in the situation, I cannot speak with authority on the subject. Also, it is always different to be looking in than to be in the situation yourself. It is always said that love is blind and walk a day in my shoes, you will feel differently.

I believe in committment and honesty and maintain the view that the need to be unfaithful stems from a lack of satisfaction in one’s relationship.

Is it so hard for people to remain faithful? It seems to be the order of the day now to have 2 and 3 men supporting a woman’s lifestyle. Men now are in the habit of having “sugar-mommies” to take care of their every need. What is also interesting to note is that gone seem to be the days when men were the ones playing the field. Right now, it is hard to differentiate between men and women when it comes to the “Playa” mentallity.

Bwoy … mi nuh know if it is how I was brought up or what but somethings just are unacceptable to me, unappealing to me. Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t think for a second that I’m better than anyone for remaining faithful to my relationship but I do think that it is something to be proud of, no matter how stupid or naive it makes me look. A chic I know the other day said that no man now-a-days is being faithful, that women should just accept the fact that their man is being shared with some other woman and they should be grateful that he is not throwing/flaunting it in her face! I was appalled. Things like these bring back memories of the era in dancehall when every song centred around one title – “MATIE” …. Yeah, now … it is getting more and more prevalent as the levels of infidelity in our society continue to increase.

For those of us who have remained faithful, more power to us! For those who haven’t, there must be a good reason in your eyes for your actions, but that reason doesn’t make it any more right no matter what the circumstance is. I love to see people around me feeling happy and enjoying life to the fullest. I just hate to see it being done with someone other than that person’s significant other. I wish we could all get along, have wonderful happy relationships with the one we love.

There was a song (man, everyting mi talk ’bout, there’s a song to go with it … GOSH!!! I’m really a music junkie) that says, “If you can’t be with the one you love, then love the one you’re with”.

Can we really do this? Do we have the courage or the will to do this? I wonder ….


2 responses »

  1. I watched that movie and it was very touching and deep. There is much to learn from that movie. I’m not gonna play the hypocrite and say “oh I’m all goodie two shoe” It is very hard to stay faithful in these times. There is so much to drive you elsewhere… but, I’ve learnt to appreciate the fact that it takes strong commitment to keep your relationship going. No matter what you’ll always have people against your relationship and countless battles in your relationship that you have to deal with and make the decisions for yourself. That is why I strongly believe “if you can’t find the one you love, love the one you’re with”. In most cases they truly love you and will give the world to you in a heart beat [not just material things].

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