Commit-MEN-to-PHOBIA

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With Valentine’s Day fast approaching (yes guys … it is a mere 13 days away-for those of you who have significant others who will put you out in the dog house if gifts, flowers, chocolates, etc are not forthcoming on that day), there have been many articles in the local tabloids about the perfect way to tell your darling you love them, how to propose to the love of your life among other things. What caught my attention yesterday was an article in the Flair Magazine from the Gleaner that sought to provide clarity on the reason men are so afraid to commit to a woman via marriage.

Before I get into the meat of the article, I would like to say that I place no emphasis on Valentines Day simply because I do not believe that I have to wait on a specific day, represented by a cherub in a nappy (supposedly gay according to the history of this day) to show my man how much I love him. I have so much love inside me to give, that if I don’t give a little every day, I just feel as if I’m going to burst. I do not expect gifts on this day, although I do get, but they are not the source of an argument, push up mouth, or anything of that nature. I know many women who are looking out for the gift basket to arrive at the office on that fateful Monday morning of February 14 … I can’t wait for the day to come to hear all the bad mind comments that will be dropping in the office about whose basket looks better than whose, and whose had it orchids as opposed to 12 long stem red roses, teddy bears, chocolates, scented candles … hhhhmmm … and the like. Interesting day for a laugh if you ask me!!

But I digress. The article … I could not believe some of the lame ass excuses these men came up with as to why they would not marry. One gentleman went as far as to say that he will get married when he’s 72! I’m sure no one but a granny would want him at that age but to each his own. Now to the age old question … why are men so afraid to commit? Is it that women are viewed in such a negative light these days that men are more willing to spend the rest of their lives playing the field or living alone? From the way things are, most will opt for the former in an attempt to prove their manhood to their peers, that he is a “gyiallis” … (people still use that word????, Forgive me, I’m so out of it sometimes). I seem to be writing many he said, she said blogs these days but I speak on what I observe in every day life. The article also spoke of other reasons for the “commitmentophobia” as I’ve decided to call it – these include, the increase in the display of jealousy in women, women trying to control what their men do, where they go, who they talk to and vice versa, etc. Do women really think that they mean themselves any good by displaying this type of immature behaviour to the man they have committed their life to? I can never understand the rationale behind some of the things that women do these days.

I understand the man’s point of view but surely there are women out there who live up to what it means to be a good wife – one that respects her man to the max (and this must be reciprocated gentlemen, don’t think you get off the hook for this), supports him, encourages him, loves him and makes him feel loved and like a man. Is it so hard? Men should also look into the changes they display – thinking that they now have a live in helper with all the perks of a maid and getting laid – which in turn make some women opposed to the idea of “submitting” themself to a man in marriage.

Maybe when I get married, I will either understand exactly what they were talking about or prove all their theories wrong. I’m aiming for the latter!!

Bed time for me now …

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2 responses »

  1. I think there are good and bad examples on either side. I have met women who have no intention of getting into any commitment because it will “spoil their fun”. One month after getting married I was propositioned by a young woman whose reasoning was that since I was now married we could get together because she wasn’t looking for a firm relationship, just some fun with no strings attached.

    There are the guys that go after anything in a skirt as long as the “M” word doesn’t arise. I think we are seeing a sign of the era in which we live. Get everything for free.

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