40 Mistakes Men Make When Having Sex, Pt. 1

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Hello my faithful blog mates. I’ve been M.I.A. for a little while due to the many stresses in life, inflation, Hurricane Katrina & Rita (yeah, I’m jumping on the band wagon) … but here I am again to stir your interests, peak your curiosities and get some of you annoyed as hell at me!

I got this email today, “40 Mistakes Men Make When Having Sex” … with a note saying “Only 40 guys, we’re steadily improving!” … sad ain’t it?? Nonetheless, I’ll be sharing 10 of these interesting little tidbits for the next 4 days or so for your laughing or crying pleasure. Enjoy!

1) NOT KISSING FIRST.
Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones
makes her feel like you’re paying by the hour and trying to get your money’s worth by cutting out nonessentials. A proper passionate kiss is the ultimate form of foreplay.

2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR.
Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well, there’s a difference between being erotic and blowing as if you’re trying to extinguish the candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts.

3) NOT SHAVING.
You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which you rake repeatedly across your partner’s face and thighs. When she turns her head from side to side, it’s not passion, it’s avoidance.

4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST.
Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they get their hand on a pair. Stroke, caress, and smooth them. ·

5) BITING HER NIPPLES.
Why do men fasten onto a woman’s nipples, then clamp down like they’re trying to deflate her body via her breasts? Nipples are highly sensitive. They can’t
stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently.
Flicking your tongue across them is good. Pretending they’re a doggie toy isn’t.

6) TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES.
Stop doing that thing where you twiddle the nipples between finger and thumb like you’re trying to find a radio station in a hilly area. Focus on the whole
breasts, not just the exclamation points.

7) IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY.
A woman is not a highway with just three turnoffs: Breastville East and West, and the Midtown Tunnel. There are vast areas of her body which you’ve ignored far too often as you go bombing straight into downtown Vagina. So start paying them some attention.

8) GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED.
Poor manual dexterity in the underskirt region can result in tangled fingers and underpants. If you’re going to be that aggressive, just ask her to take the
damn things off.

9) LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT.
Condom disposal is the man’s responsibility. You wore it, you store it.

10) ATTACKING THE CLITORIS.
Direct pressure is very unpleasant, so gently rotate your fingers along side of the clitoris.

Stay tuned for Pt. 2!

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7 responses »

  1. Women differ still… I know of one who loves the nipple biting… mebbe she sorta sadistic still…

  2. CoolDestiny I like this I would love to share it with my friends.
    btw thanks for your kind words on my blog I would love it if we can support each other.as for the ticker thing I did it thru trial and error it took me a few days to figure it out because I did not know where in my blogger template to store the text I kept trying until I got it so just go to the site and follow the instruction maybe and it wiz like madbull could help you better I really hope you get to put one up.again thanks for your kind words.

  3. I think not clipping nails is a bigger problem than not shaving.

    That and of course the traditional, slow it down a little bit. A man can get hard in what 2.5 seconds…we ladies require a bit more warm up time.

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