NC-17

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I feel this urge to be naughty on my blog. Before I continue, the next post is rated NC-17. For those who are averse to adult content, need no longer read further in this post as the contents may shock you … For the other smutty-minded readers – enjoy!

For The Love Of …

If you are a man, I think that you can agree there are many types of pussy that a man can experience. If you are a woman, I think that you can agree that every man does not react to your pussy the same. These are just some reasons why men act different to different pussies. Every man has had at least one or more, if not all, of these and may or may not want to remember the experience.

LAZY PUSSY– this is when there is no movement on the woman’s part except trying to stop full thrust of the dick into the pussy. She says faster, faster but still is not putting any effort into the action at hand.

THE WENDY’S WINDOW PUSSY– This is the girl you pick up around 12:30 am, when everyone is sleeping and she knows that you are coming so she is waiting by the door. You don’t have to beep the horn or call her from the car because she knows the deal. She usually is not the best looking girl. You are never seen with this girl in public places and you hate that she mentions your name to her friends. There is no reason to ask how your day was because it is too late for conversation. It is all agreed upon before she even gets in the car. Nine out of ten times, there is no talk of relationship, because that might spoil the mood.

THE CONQUERED PUSSY– This is the girl who teased you for about two or three years and finally you do get your chance and you please the pussy in a way it has never been pleased before. Now, you have this girl calling you and wondering when y’all can HOOK-UP again. There is no pussy better than THE CONQUERED PUSSY.

THE ALL-INCLUSIVE PUSSY– this is when you get all the benefits of sex. The pussy is yours for the taking. Whether it is night or day, still in her church dress type pussy. The pussy smells like roses even after sex and taste better than candy. Not only is the pussy yours whenever or wherever you want it; she gives you ALL the sexual favors you can imagine. The head is tremendous, the kind that you write your niggas in jail about and she can handle the dick when you hit from the back. To top it off, she is not scared to take it in the ass. This is in close running with THE CONQUERED PUSSY for the best pussy to ever get.

THE OUT OF TOWN PUSSY– this is the pussy you met on the last trip you and the fellas took. She only keeps in touch via email and she does not want a long distance relationship. She visits only at your discretion and always comes alone but is always willing to bring a friend. She is number one when you go back to that city and only wants to have lunch to catch up on missed conversation. THE OUT OF TOWN PUSSY is necessary for the travelling single man.

THE FRUSTRATION PUSSY– this is the girl you call when you need to let some loose. You decide to call her when your day at work is miserable. You may even set this up before leaving work or on the way home. The only reason for this activity to take place is to get your mind off of other things. Afterwards, you might even think to yourself and say why did I just do that. The girl who is receiving the dick usually doesn’t mind because she doesn’t get much action to begin with. THE FRUSTRATION PUSSY is sometimes THE WENDY’S WINDOW PUSSY.

THE FREQUENT FLIER PUSSY– this is the girl you know is fucking around, but you just don’t care. She has lubrications that are half way used already. She always has condom wrappers in the bathroom trash and beer in the fridge. The only reason why you keep fucking is because it’s good, she’s not bad looking and there could never be a relationship. It has not been proven, but she could have fucked one of the guys you use to go to school with. The pussy is not loose, but it is not THE HANDS ON THE HIPS PUSSY. I’ll get to that later.

TIME TO GO PUSSY– this is the pussy that when the pants come off of her you can smell the nahh nahh. Fellas, if this happens it is not even worth the two bars of soap it will take to get rid of the stench left on your dick. This occurs with girls you bring home from the club, so to avoid this, take a good wiff while in the car with her or better yet invite her to take a shower with you.

THE TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT PUSSY– this is the girl everyone expects you to fuck. You haven’t touched her because she either has a big mouth, lives next door or is a close friend of the family’s relative. There is also a chance that she is all three. She is cute but you know the consequences. She continues to tease you with the pussy and at any moment when the both of you are alone, she lets you know that she wants to fuck. The best thing to do is fuck her friend.

THE HANDS ON THE HIPS PUSSY– this is the girl that you fucked only one time because she could not handle the dick. No matter position y’all tried, she complains that it hurts. Not only is she screaming like you are murdering the woman, but she puts her hands on your hips so that you can’t get your full stroke-on. It is like fucking with half of your dick. She does not know the proper way to suck dick so there is no pleasure there and doggy style to her is just Snoop’s first album. This is by far the worst pussy a man can get.

SHORTCHANGED PUSSY-When the woman is extremely sexy and beautiful. She moves the right way and oozes sensuality. When it comes to sex, she has no clue. The very thought of stroking this pussy can make you cum before its time. She talks a good game with no experience. Kissing her is like watching a cartoon. When she tries to guide your dick into her pussy, she cuts it with her nails. By the time you get another boner, her pussy is dry and feels like sandpaper. By the time you get in, you find out that she’s tight but can’t work her
waistline. You start thinking to yourself, “how can such a fine woman be so feeble? You decide that you’re going to make the best of a bad situation and get your rocks off when she says “don’t cum in me because I’m not taking anything.”

YES M’AM PUSSY-This is the kind of pussy your mother warned you about. This pussy is often misjudged because of the owners meek mannerisms. She is quiet, reserved, independent and shows no inkling of the treasure that lies between her thighs. She seems to be a scholarly type but not quite prudish. You think to yourself “I’m gonna tear this pussy up,” only to find that she was only playing possum. You were so caught off guard that your whole game plan needed instant revision. She was your equal having as much game as you. You must give her credit realizing that you came too close too of having your brains fucked out.
Gentleman, be wary of this pussy and be prepared. Your best defense is a good offense and a long stiff thick dick with staying power.

WHOA PUSSY-Men who have cheated on their woman temporarily can say, “AMEN” to this class of pussy or Men whom found his pussy and married it. Men, this is the class of pussy that makes you insane, (if cheating: makes you want to confess to your woman that you fucked someone else. The WHOA pussy made you want to tell somebody. WHOA pussy is in a class of its own. WHOA pussy will make you look and feel different about the pussy you got at home. WHOA pussy makes you bust several nuts (i.e., multiple orgasms). Makes you want to cry and you have no clue to why. This pussy is so intense, when it is wrapped around your dick or your face it sends you into a trance and you say shit you wouldn’t normally say. She has a smooth, undulating motion, constantly asks you if you’re comfortable, she savors it like you’re the main course meal. You can get sprung off this type pussy.

THE STALKER PUSSY-This is the pussy that pisses you off the most. You see, the woman you boned for a fling or as a favor keeps coming back like a bad cold. If she has a bad day at work, she “stalks your dick.” If she has a bad meal, “she stalks your dick.” If she has a bad hair day, she “stalks your dick.” If she sees an ex, she “stalks your dick.” No matter what, she “stalks your dick.” It is easy to tell if the woman you’re with falls into this category. She always uses phrases like these when she is fucking you: “DON’T RUN FROM THIS” “WHAT’S MY NAME?” “WHO’S DICK IS THIS?” “TALK TO ME DADDY, I DON’T HEAR YOU TALKING!”

GODDAMN PUSSY-
Men, now this is pussy that will definitely send you to hell if you’re not
married to it. This pussy is just like YES M’AM and WHOA pussy. Her pussy is snug – tight and juicy. She can accommodate larger than average size dick. She has good control of her pussy muscles which can make any size dick feel like at home. This pussy makes you weak to your knees when she’s around you. While you are giving it to her in missionary style, just
the look on her face is enough to make you cum, or while she’s Riding on top, you look towards the heavens and say, GODDAMN THIS IS SOME GOOD pussy!!”

“JAH BLESS” PUSSY-Gentlemen, this is the gold mine pussy this pussy is the pussy that you commit yourself too. You do not cheat on it and you keep it a well kept secret. In fact, you constantly crave and feign for this pussy. When you get this pussy, you go through convulsions. This is the pussy that makes you READY even when you ain’t. You call in sick from work for it. This pussy is so major it is YES M’AM pussy, WHOA pussy and GODDAMN pussy all in one. This is the pussy that you want to put insurance on, just in case anything should happen to it. This pussy makes you stutter. The pussy you want your future children to come through, the pussy that you’re convinced was made strictly for you.

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4 responses »

  1. oh my – good thing i am well beyond the age of 18. wonder if they have a version of this about the different types of “buddies”

  2. Oh Becky … how could you give away the secret like that!!! Stay tuned!

    Sabledawn, in the famous words of Deuce Bigalow – Man-whore. 🙂

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