I Can’t Believe She’s Gone


I received the tragic news on Sunday, March 29th that my best friend while I was in college passed away.  This experience is so surreal because, it was just last Friday I was talking to one of our mutual friends about her.

We met in 1996 in my 2nd year at Utech and we became fast friends.  It was not long before we were inseparable, you would never see one of us without the other, and were pronounced as “twins” by those who knew us, not because we looked alike but because of how close we were.

Since I found out about her passing, I have been thinking about her life before I met her, her life while we were still friends, the betrayal of trust in our friendship, just about everything that I could remember about her.

I’m overcome with sadness, but the tears were no where to be seen.  The churning in the depths of my stomach, Too much to bear, too much to comprehend, The questioning mind, the wandering thoughts of why, Left unanswered, until we meet again.  The life of one so different, so unique, so twisted.  Yet, there was happiness, or was there?   I wish I could see …  I wish I could float to that serene place where she is to let her know that even though there was so much distance between us, she was still in my heart, always.

We used to write a lot of poems.  She expressed her feelings best that way.   This is the last piece she shared with me, on March 1, 2006 written in 2005.


Cause I’m a lone ranger,

I wanna cry all day & night,

I wanna bury myself,

in delight…..

Cause I’m a lone ranger,

I wanna forget I was ever born,

I wanna forget about the morn,

I want night,


the darkness,

always to remain….

*Written 2005


My Thought for Today widget is in honour of my friend, ironically received on the day she died.

Rest In Peace Lisa.  I love you dearly and I’ll miss you.  You will hardly be forgotten by the world, with that captivating smile, that annoying yet heart warming laugh and just the amazing wonder of YOU.


6 responses »

  1. i’m sorry for your loss… the poem she wrote is so… i dunno… there’s a sad beauty in there… and your words are so simple and embellished…

  2. Sorry to hear about your friend. Memories don’t leave like people do so treasure the ones you have left whether good or bad.

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