Mi Love Mi 2 Year Old …

For those of us into old school reggae, the title of this blog should look and sound very familiar, like the popular song of the same name by the great Admiral Bailey.  This post has nothing to do with the song though … but rather about my first born.

He is at the tender age of two, the age of precociousness, tantrums, imitation of others, exploration and the list goes on.  I think I understand why they call them terrible twos when they get to this age as it is taking more patience than I thought I had within me along with many prayers to remain calm during this time of his development.  People say that the “terrible two” syndrome is worst in boys … I guess I’ll wait for the next couple of months when my princess will be at the tender age of 2 and judge for myself.  Having my offspring so close puts me in a somewhat advantagous position to speak with authority on a number of issues pertaining to motherhood if I do say so myself.

So, what advice to I have for mothers who are on their way to dealing with a terrible two:

1.  Remain calm at all times.  Losing your temper is a sign that you are out of control, and not the child

2.  Reinforce good behaviours.  Make your child feel proud when (s)he has done something good, something of  you approve of.

3.  CONSISTENTLY bannish bad behaviours.  Always let your child know when (s)he does something wrong and why it is wrong.  They are not stupid.  They are actually as smart as you or maybe smarter (I think this is the case with CDJR1).  They will know that they did the same thing yesterday and did not get punished for it and will think it’s ok to do it again.  This piece of advice is the most important in my opinion.

4.  Always show them you love them, no matter what they do.  They are human beings too with emotions, and not enough life skills to know how to deal with them as well as the average adult should.  Even after scolding, make sure your child understands that you care about them and love them whether they do good or bad.

I have a friend, very close to me, who has a son, 8 years old now.  She is one of those persons you never picture being a mother.  Very ambitious, career driven, always on the go.  I have witnessed her son cry out in so many ways, and yet everyone else seems to see it except her.

Our children are so precious and it is an awesome responsibility we as parents must take seriously.  The way we raise our children today will determine the society we live in tomorrow.  I pray for good parenting so that our children will grow up with the right values, the right take on life, knowing good manners, respect for adults, respect for rules and boundaries, respect for others.  It will mean the difference between the life of comfort we live, not being in fear, or the life of death we will live, being in fear of opening our doors.

Bless up.

Nostalgia

Flashback: September 16, 2006

12:30 p.m.

“This doesn’t sound good at all.  It should be at least 110 but it is coming at between 40 and 50”

“What could be the cause of that?”

“It’s hard to say.  It could be many things, but not something to ignore.  I’m going to have to act proactively on this one.  Don’t worry.  I’m sure everything will be fine”

“Anything you say.  You know best.  This could be it though?  It’s no turning back for me from here on you know.  The time is now”

FF to Sunday, September 17; 7:20 p.m.

“Nothing is happening.  It’s been 7 hrs and she hasn’t moved a centimetre”

“I’m ready”

“Let’s get ready then and do what we have to do”

8:02 a.m. – CDJR1 was born … not many cries, I was wondering if he was ok.  They put his face against mine.  He had a head of hair.  He started to cry.  He was ok.  I started to cry.  He was holding on to the cord. Scaring us all with his too slow heartbeat … but he was ok and has already started to make his mark on the world as a special little boy.

“Happy Birthday CDJR1.  Mommy loves you”

She’s Here

Well, I still don’t have internet at home yet and have to be sponging but have to keep my blog peeps up to speed on what’s happening.

My daughter is finally here, arriving on Friday, August 10 at 9:26 a.m.  Mommy, Daddy, Baby #1 and Baby #2 are doing just fine.

On another note, we survived Hurricane Dean.  New home stood up fairly well.  Have gotten back light and always had water so I’m back in business full time.

Can’t wait for September 3 to come and go. This election season is totally getting to me right now.  I’m enjoying the political ads though … some of them are really hilarious.  Rest assured also that I’ll be casting my ballot on Election Day.

Rising Stars has lost it’s pizzazz to me.  The performances are not up the standard I want, mostly because of the selection of songs, boring and not complementary to the contestants voice.  Still watching every episode though … that’s what no cable does to you. Cable or not though, I’m a rising stars fan and would still be watching.  I feel Jodian will be voted off tonight who was my rising star.  If she goes, I’ll be moving on the Kyino Cunningham.  Not feeling the other ladies at all and he and Romain “Rum Ram” Virgo have been bringing it in my opinion.  So, let’s see how it goes.

Just checking in as usual so I’ll post again as soon as I can.

Luv Ya.

A Wonderful Feeling

I don’t think there is any word that can explain the love I feel for my family.  My son, his precious smile, his infectious laugh, he curious eyes and ears, his quick little feet, and even his tears are enough to keep me going no matter how down I may get for whatever reason. 

I have always wondered what it would feel like to be a mother.  Growing up thinking I may never be able to have children, having one and now another on the way is demonstration of God and his wonderful blessings.  Now that I have my son and a daughter on the way, I understand now when people speak about the love of a mother.  Although I’m still new at it and have a lot to learn and a lot to experience, so far, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.  It is just amazing! 

To all the mothers, continue to love and nurture your children.  Teach them the right way and help them to understand the world and everything that is in it as best as you can.   For those contemplating motherhood … stop contemplating and do it.  You will never regret it. 

“Gone”

I know that title has gotten your full attention and you are wondering … what does it mean?

 Does it mean she will be giving up her blog?  Does it mean she is leaving Jamaica?  Does it mean she is no longer a straight, man-loving female and is now a lesbian?  What does it mean??????  For those who live in Jamaica, the term is a very familiar one and can be interpreted in many many ways including those I listed above.

 So, what is it that I’m saying?  Since I don’t want to be a bad girl like the last time around, I’m sharing with the blogosphere that I am expecting my 2nd child!  Yes, you can take your jaws off the floor now.  It is true!  My 2nd bundle of joy should arrive in August.

 Now, what does this mean for CD, who already has not had enough time to maintain regular posts, keep you on your toes with her infectious wit, charm, humour and controversial topics?  One thing is for sure, I will not take this blog down and I have no intention to stop blogging anytime in the near future.  It gives me an outlet I can call my own to express myself, say what I want the way I want as often as I want.  So rest assured, I will never be “gone” from the blogosphere.

Take care everyone.

Freaking Me Out!!!

A few scary thoughts from CD:

1.    Going back to work.  Albeit 2 months from now, I’m already dreading it

2.    Do I go with a inhouse baby sitter or send him to the nursery?  I’m besides myself with this one.

I’m leaning towards the nursery for the following reasons – a more controlled environment, more interaction with other babies/children, possibly better development of motor skills, etc. I’m against the nursery for the simple reason that every common cold and child ailment that goes around, he is potentially exposed.

Against the in house baby sitter for the following reasons:- someone in my house going through my shit, someone in my house unsupervised, possibility of greater exposure of my son in that, this person will be alone with him with no one watching.  Need I say more?
I’m for the in house baby sitter only because of the reason I’m against the nursery.   Any thoughts on this?

3.  I’ve already lost 30lbs since I had the baby.  This is quite good considering I only put on 16 lbs when I was pregnant.   I think that by being at home, I will probably put on at least 1/2 of this.  I invested in an exercise program and as my luck would have it, DVD player konk out hence I can’t do my wonderful Turbo Jam exercise program, complete with jumping rope, weighted gloves and 5 fabulous work outs.   I’m trying to get a DVD player for my computer since that is the only room with the space to work out right now.

4.    Will I really move into my own home come January as promised.  I am going to go nuts if I don’t!!!

That is pretty much what is freaking me out right now.

I just can’t fathom

Every day , every minute, every second I spend with my son, I witness the wonderfulness of God.  It is truly amazing what he can do.  His love for children is evident in the intricate way they are made.  Created out of an act of love, nurtured through the being of the mother, grown inside another human yet living his own life, then coming into the world to begin another phase.  How truly amazing God is in his love for us and his little ones.

When I look into his eyes and see the love, the happiness, the carefreeness, when I see his teethless, gum-full smile, I wonder how people can be cruel to children.  It is something I just cannot fathom.  How can a woman carry a child inside her for 9 months and then abandon him?  How can she bring him into the world and expose him to the harms of life?  How can a man sexually molest a baby?  I just can’t fathom these things.  The creation of a baby is so beautiful, and the innocence you see, the level of trust they put in the people they see around them, to think of the devastating effects simple acts of cruelty can destroy a creature so innocent and full of promise.  I just can’t fathom these things.

I told my mother earlier this week that I would kill anyone who hurt my son.  I’m willing to go to prison for him and so is his father.  I meant it.  Everyday you read in the papers about the increase in the number of sex crimes being committed involving children, little boys and girls being molested at school, church, home.  I have no sympathy for persons convicted of these crimes.  I can only pray and ask God to have mercy on them because he is a forgiving God.

With God as my witness, I’ll do everything in my power to keep my son, my blessing, my angel out of harm’s way.  And to all the mothers out there, I am new on the block but that makes me no less of a mother and I pray that you will continue to love and protect your children so that they may always be happy.

Tough Love

 tough love
n.

• The use of strict disciplinary measures and limitations on freedoms or privileges, as by a parent or guardian, as a means of fostering responsibility and expressing care or concern.

• a mixture of toughness and warmth used in a relationship, esp. with an adolescent.

Tough love is a term we have all heard from time to time growing up and something we have all felt in even the smallest way.  Whether it was your mother telling you you couldn’t get the dress you wanted because you were disobedient or your father telling you you couldn’t go on the class trip because you didn’t pass all your subject that semester.  However demonstrated, tough love is one of the ways people show us that the care.

My well laid out plan worked …. well, almost.  In addition to what I outlined, I made a few other adjustments namely giving him his bath at night and keeping the room dark/dim in an attempt to create a night time routine and start to establish night from day.  Also, at the advice of my mother (who I’ve reconciled with … another post guys), her theory is that the baby must learn to go to sleep on his own.  Thus, if he is full, has a clean bottom and is tired, he should be allowed to go to sleep ….. even if this means that he will cry his cute little eyes out until he does.   Now, my mother is an educator by profession, having taught beginners at primary school so I think she has some knowledge on how to handle children and after all she raised me and you all know the absolutely wonderful person I turned out to be 🙂 but … I digress.

I tested her theory on Sunday morning by allowing my son to cry for about 20 minutes before I rocked him to sleep.  After doing this, he was out like a light in 5 minutes.  We again tested that theory yesterday morning but his father broke under the pressure of hearing our little angel bawling out his throat hole in the wee morning hours.  I told him not to pick him up but he refused to listen.   The habit of taking him up every single time he makes a fuss will cause him to get used to being in hand all the time and that can spell disaster.  Of all the advice I received while I was pregnant and shortly after his birth, the one about not making him get used to being in hand is one that I got from every single individual.  It seems it is the curse!!

This morning, as much as we both wanted to take him up, we held strain, listened to him cry … and cry … and cry.  I’m thinking “oh my God, the neighbours, if any of them are awakened by this cacophony and disquitetude, must think I was inflicting some kind of bodily harm on my little angel”.  This exercise in tough love paid off as after exactly 1/2 hr, when I thought he must have cried till he was tired that I took him up, rocked him a little and had him asleep in 5 minutes.  My only regret is that his father did not manage to stay awake (even through the caterwauling) to witness this great feat.

Unu tink mi wicked?  I hope not because sometimes we just have to hold ardent to get things done.

You know it probably hurt your parents more than it did you to do the things they did in the name of tough love.  No parent wants to see their child cry, or in pain, or get hurt in any way.  And to be the one to inflict tears is no easy task for most parents.   So, my is now 6 weeks and 2 days and I know that it will only continue to get better from here on out.

Stages

Well, the tables have turned … and my little angel is now keeping us up at 3 night in a row  – all night.  He will wake up at about 10 or so and will not go back to sleep until 4 sometimes 5, this a.m., he’s still awake after waking up at 11 p.m.  The night before he was up at 7 until 4:40 a.m.

So, his father and I have started mapping out our action plan as we will need to work vociferously to get him out of this  dreaded cycle which will surely take its toll on the both of us if we don’t try to nip it in the bud.  Don’t get me wrong.  We’re not fooling ourselves.  This is a baby and will not understand when we say stuff like, “ok son, it’s time to go to sleep.  You’ve been up all day and nights are made for sleep therefore you should go to sleep”.  We think that we can at least try to start training him and form a sleep pattern that will work for everyone.

As the one who is with him every day, I know that he sleep on average 4 hrs at a time.  If he’s really tired (like he will be today) he’ll sleep for up to 8 hrs straight.  However, once he wakes up during the day, he only stays awake for a maximum of 2 hrs, long enough to be fed, burped and changed. This will have to be curbed. So, plan for Operation Night Sleep:

1.    wake him up after sleep for 4 hrs.

2.     feed, burp and change him

3.    stimulate him in an attempt to keep him awake as long as possible during the day time       hoping that he’ll be tired in the evenings

4.      Structure a ‘timetable’ of sorts to maximize sleep during the night hrs., i.e., waking him up at  8 p.m., getting him back to sleep by 11 or 12 so he’ll wake at 6 a.m.

This sounds really ambitious nuh true??  I think so and somewhere deep in the back of my usually very optimistic mind, there is a niggling that none of this will work.  My online baby resource, www.babyzone.com said that babies don’t know how to put themselves to sleep and there’s nothing you can do to put a baby to sleep if they don’t want to go nor wake them up if they don’t wanna be awake.  So, you see why I say Operation Night Sleep is ambitious.

I’ll let you know how it goes.  Any tips from the mothers out there?  Let’s hear them!!